Gratitude practices are one of the most important aspects of success. And happiness.
You’ve seen it now for more than a few posts. I end each one with three things I’m grateful for. I try to keep it focused on wealth, health, and self. But sometimes it strays.
And that’s okay.
However, the structure is only a starting point. The gratitude can go in the direction it chooses.
With that said, here’s why gratitude practices are so important.
Many times, to be successful, we focus on things that we want. Not things that we have. And while that seems logical, what’s happening is that we are reminding our brains that we don’t have what we want.
It’s a negative perspective disguised as a positive one.
You should have goals, and I’ll talk more later about my goal-setting philosophy.
But for the time being, you should look for things to be grateful for that bring you closer to your goals.
What happens when you think about what you want all the time, you will have negative thoughts creep in. The little voice in your head says “I’ll never have enough time,” or “I’ll never have enough money,” or “I’ll never be good enough…”
That’s the mentality – and yes, it is unintentional – of not reaching your goals.
So, start by paying attention to your thoughts. It’s key. Are those thoughts positive or negative?
Now, ask yourself if you believe those thoughts. Most people do, and that is okay. It’s hard to believe in something you don’t already have.
Now, for most of us (myself included), what you want is often far away. There are obstacles between where you are and where you want to be. So you have to collapse the space from where you are to where you want to be. And you do this by focusing on overcoming those obstacles.
And to do that is much more simple than you think. It’s where the gratitude practices come in.
What we want to do is to replace the negative “I don’t have” thoughts with positive “I’m grateful” thoughts.
You don’t want the thing you think you want.
Read that again.
In other words, you don’t want the Lambo. You don’t want the big house. And, believe it or not, you don’t want the private jet.
You want the experience of owning those things. You want the feeling of being rich or successful or whatever will give you.
So let’s do this instead. Identify that feeling. What is that feeling you are chasing?
Now, focus on something you have right now that makes you feel that way. And be grateful for it.
Write it down.
Challenge yourself to find three things in the morning and three things in the evening.
Mark Manson in the Subtle Art reminds us of the ‘Backwards Law’ first introduced by Alan Watts.
Watts said:
“I have always been fascinated by the law of reversed effort. Sometimes I call it the ‘backwards law.’ When you try to stay on the surface of the water, you sink; but when you try to sink, you float. When you hold your breath, you lose it — which immediately calls to mind an ancient and much neglected saying, ‘Whosoever would save his soul shall lose it.’”
Which Manson paraphrases as:
The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience… Wanting positive experience is a negative experience; accepting negative experience is a positive experience.
Manson, Mark. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck (Mark Manson Collection) (p. 9). HarperCollins. Kindle Edition.
Manson, as great of a writer as he is, royally screwed up the explanation.
Here’s the simple way to explain it:
You have to be happy here to get there.
If you want to be happy rich, you have to be happy poor.
If you want to be happy skinny, you have to be happy overweight.
It all starts with happy now.
Otherwise, you’re going to constantly run into limiting beliefs. And mindset is everything.
There’s no way around that (unless you’re hit by a stroke of good luck, and we aren’t looking to be gamblers).
That’s the purpose of gratitude practices.
With that, I’m grateful this morning that I understand the basic philosophy of what I just wrote. That in order to get there, I have to be happy here and now. It took a long time to learn this, but now that I have, now that I focus on what I can control and being present and taking action in the moment, more success is coming faster.
I’m grateful for the comfort of my recliner and the light of the sunroom it’s in. I like to change work venues from time to time, to get out of my office, and the recliner and sunroom provide a great, comfortable location for it.
I’m grateful for my wife. Wendy helps me in so many ways with planning and organizing and coordinating. The baseball organization for sure wouldn’t be able to grow without her helping me coordinate community service events, hotels, tournaments, etc. She is definitely a critical component of that growth.
Today is script day. If you’ve been reading, you know that I script my days. Today (Sunday) I start by scripting my week.
And that will be the topic of tonight’s post.
Until then, do little gratitude practices help you become admired and successful? Yes, there is no doubt.
Now, what are you grateful for?
